Oh, Dearest Diary… Things are getting pretty fraught! My sincerest apologies once again for keeping you waiting, but I’m absolutely pooped! This evening I couldn’t even lift my cocktail glass; Juanita had to feed me my Buttery Nipple (my favourite tipple) through a straw!
And why, I hear you rightly ask, dear Felicia, are you so tired? Well, Dear Diary… I shall tell you!
Firstly, I am sad to report that Selfridges let me down – no matter what I tried on, I just looked far too scintillating! I tell you, it really is tough at the top. So I had to rethink the “Dress Dowdy – Avoid the Advances” plan, and once again attended rehearsals in my usual dance attire. What the gentlemen didn’t know was that I’d secreted a mini can of Mace and a rape alarm about my person… That should fend them off!
Monday morning saw us staging from the top of Act Two. Now, I’m no prude, but a bed scene with Miss Hot Stuff, Joe Soap and Lucy Fur? Most unsavoury. I made sure that little Matty Quinn was in the middle – I shudder to think what the W.I. would make of it all if Hollie Cassar popped up in between us, and they’re occupying the front two rows at Press Night!
Matt was delightfully chivalrous, even during an unfortunate incident mid-scene that we shall only refer to as “Support Garment-Gate!” Needless to say, after that ordeal, I was good for nothing until after lunch, so I absolutely insisted on some recuperation time. Thankfully, Juanita had packed her miracle pick-me-up tonic, and so by the afternoon I was back to my usual affable self. Although Matt seemed unable to look me in the eye, and was blushing rather a lot. “Don’t worry, dear,” I told him. “I’ve seen it all before. What you choose to wear under your tracksuit bottoms is your own business, and I shall remain as silent as the grave.”
The afternoon was filled with more music rehearsals. I really don’t sing very much in Act Two, strangely. I suppose it’s not a bad thing; bless the dear young things in the supporting cast – they must be desperate to find decent agents and show off their stuff to the countless industry professionals that Kenny has no doubt organised to come and see me perform. He was hinting just the other day how Cameron is planning a revival of The Wizard of Oz, and is considering me for a lead… And whilst I am quite aware that my Dorothy days are over, I think I may still have a Glinda in me!
Tuesday saw me back in wardrobe, and Mark the Designer was there once again, swooning over me and giggling like a little school girl at every witticism I had to offer. Bless his little cotton Calvin’s; methinks there might be love in the air, although I wouldn’t want to jinx anything, so I shall tempt fate no further, and stop my musings right there.
The frocks are coming on very well. Some are, actually, a delight. I am most excited about giving them an airing and seeing the cast’s response. Although I won’t go too near Wade or Jacob, the male dancers, in my ‘Sexy Nun’ outfit… I’m not sure they could contain themselves. Lydia was particularly jovial, and actually had some proper clothes on as well, which is a turn up for the books after the Kimono last time.
Tuesday afternoon was spent running through the music to the massive Act Two Finale Medley. Now… All in all, very affective, although I do have a few issues that I must iron out with the production team. Firstly, the order of the songs… I’m sure it’s just a clerical error, but as it stands, Matt Quinn seems to enter and sing AFTER me in the walk down (the section where we all bow). Oh, the fools. That just can’t be right. And secondly, the choice of song for me is… well… shocking. To be honest, I’ve never heard of it. How is it appropriate that Sarah gets Fame, Hollie gets Enough Is Enough, and I am left with Little Willy by The Sweet? Nay, nay, and thrice nay to that! I decided, rather than rock the boat in rehearsals, I’d get Kenny to give the Queens Theatre people a quick call and see if that can’t be sorted amicably. And so, we wait with bated breath on that one…
And suddenly it was Wednesday! The middle of week four already! My, my, how time flies. We finished off the majority of the Act Two staging today. Two delightful duets, one with Sarah Mahony, in which she sings a verse, and then I enter and show her how it’s really done. To be honest, I bet she’s secretly breathing a huge sigh of relief that she doesn’t have to sing AFTER me! And then staging the Peters and Lee number with dear Cameron. His harmonies had even improved. A little. At one point I was seriously worried that he had lost all tuning and was making the most appalling racket, until I realised that my rape alarm had misfired in my pocket! Oh, the hilarity of it all!!!
Lovely. We’ve nearly reached the end of my scenes. Just the ‘Money’ number and the finale to go. I do hope Kenny has managed to sort out the Little Willy fiasco. Otherwise, I hate to say it, but Pirouette Associates may lose their biggest star.
Well, Dear Diary… My Buttery Nipple has gone down very well, and now, reminiscent of the ‘So Long, Farewell’ scene in ‘The Sound Of Music’, Juanita is about to carry me upstairs and tuck me in. And so I shall bid you auf weidersehen, adieu until next time.
And why, I hear you rightly ask, dear Felicia, are you so tired? Well, Dear Diary… I shall tell you!
Firstly, I am sad to report that Selfridges let me down – no matter what I tried on, I just looked far too scintillating! I tell you, it really is tough at the top. So I had to rethink the “Dress Dowdy – Avoid the Advances” plan, and once again attended rehearsals in my usual dance attire. What the gentlemen didn’t know was that I’d secreted a mini can of Mace and a rape alarm about my person… That should fend them off!
Monday morning saw us staging from the top of Act Two. Now, I’m no prude, but a bed scene with Miss Hot Stuff, Joe Soap and Lucy Fur? Most unsavoury. I made sure that little Matty Quinn was in the middle – I shudder to think what the W.I. would make of it all if Hollie Cassar popped up in between us, and they’re occupying the front two rows at Press Night!
Matt was delightfully chivalrous, even during an unfortunate incident mid-scene that we shall only refer to as “Support Garment-Gate!” Needless to say, after that ordeal, I was good for nothing until after lunch, so I absolutely insisted on some recuperation time. Thankfully, Juanita had packed her miracle pick-me-up tonic, and so by the afternoon I was back to my usual affable self. Although Matt seemed unable to look me in the eye, and was blushing rather a lot. “Don’t worry, dear,” I told him. “I’ve seen it all before. What you choose to wear under your tracksuit bottoms is your own business, and I shall remain as silent as the grave.”
The afternoon was filled with more music rehearsals. I really don’t sing very much in Act Two, strangely. I suppose it’s not a bad thing; bless the dear young things in the supporting cast – they must be desperate to find decent agents and show off their stuff to the countless industry professionals that Kenny has no doubt organised to come and see me perform. He was hinting just the other day how Cameron is planning a revival of The Wizard of Oz, and is considering me for a lead… And whilst I am quite aware that my Dorothy days are over, I think I may still have a Glinda in me!
Tuesday saw me back in wardrobe, and Mark the Designer was there once again, swooning over me and giggling like a little school girl at every witticism I had to offer. Bless his little cotton Calvin’s; methinks there might be love in the air, although I wouldn’t want to jinx anything, so I shall tempt fate no further, and stop my musings right there.
The frocks are coming on very well. Some are, actually, a delight. I am most excited about giving them an airing and seeing the cast’s response. Although I won’t go too near Wade or Jacob, the male dancers, in my ‘Sexy Nun’ outfit… I’m not sure they could contain themselves. Lydia was particularly jovial, and actually had some proper clothes on as well, which is a turn up for the books after the Kimono last time.
Tuesday afternoon was spent running through the music to the massive Act Two Finale Medley. Now… All in all, very affective, although I do have a few issues that I must iron out with the production team. Firstly, the order of the songs… I’m sure it’s just a clerical error, but as it stands, Matt Quinn seems to enter and sing AFTER me in the walk down (the section where we all bow). Oh, the fools. That just can’t be right. And secondly, the choice of song for me is… well… shocking. To be honest, I’ve never heard of it. How is it appropriate that Sarah gets Fame, Hollie gets Enough Is Enough, and I am left with Little Willy by The Sweet? Nay, nay, and thrice nay to that! I decided, rather than rock the boat in rehearsals, I’d get Kenny to give the Queens Theatre people a quick call and see if that can’t be sorted amicably. And so, we wait with bated breath on that one…
And suddenly it was Wednesday! The middle of week four already! My, my, how time flies. We finished off the majority of the Act Two staging today. Two delightful duets, one with Sarah Mahony, in which she sings a verse, and then I enter and show her how it’s really done. To be honest, I bet she’s secretly breathing a huge sigh of relief that she doesn’t have to sing AFTER me! And then staging the Peters and Lee number with dear Cameron. His harmonies had even improved. A little. At one point I was seriously worried that he had lost all tuning and was making the most appalling racket, until I realised that my rape alarm had misfired in my pocket! Oh, the hilarity of it all!!!
Lovely. We’ve nearly reached the end of my scenes. Just the ‘Money’ number and the finale to go. I do hope Kenny has managed to sort out the Little Willy fiasco. Otherwise, I hate to say it, but Pirouette Associates may lose their biggest star.
Well, Dear Diary… My Buttery Nipple has gone down very well, and now, reminiscent of the ‘So Long, Farewell’ scene in ‘The Sound Of Music’, Juanita is about to carry me upstairs and tuck me in. And so I shall bid you auf weidersehen, adieu until next time.