Dear Diary
Well... That's it. Four weeks of high kicks, high heels and high notes (mine are unsurprisingly the most resounding), and we've finished staging!
And so now we hand over to yet more people I haven't met yet, the production crew, as we start the technical and dress rehearsals ready for our first preview on Friday night. I don't mind admitting, I'm as giddy as a school girl with excitement!
On a personal level, my performance, I am sure, will be a resounding success; I've even managed to memorise a few of the lines that are in the script, so feeling very chuffed with myself. However, I found this weekend to be one of reflection, and whilst the rest of the cast are awfully good, there are still a few pointers I'd like to give, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to jot down a few notes for them all...
Matt Quinn (Joe Soap) - a delightful interpretation of a young man dealing with inner turmoil, but why, oh why does that result in you sounding like Kermit the Frog when you sing? If I were you, I'd choose a few lower, more manly notes, just to reassure us that you're not a post-operative transsexual? Just a suggestion.
Sarah Mahoney (Julie) - such a lovely, innocent, honest performance, with the full range of necessary facial expressions and even a couple of pauses, showing us all that you are a consummate actress. But please pace yourself; I would hate for you to pop one of those belted high notes out and accidentally give yourself piles! As superb as I am, I'm not sure I could play Lucy Fur AND Julie.
Cameron Jones (Narrator) - lovely. Please try to focus. I know I'm ravishing, but you'll do yourself no favours if your head's not in the game! A little less lustful advances, a little more acting? And whilst I love your little witty ad libs, please remember who is the lead? I'd hate for you to get ideas above your station - I've been through that with Matt Quinn... He still has the scars!
Hollie Cassar (Miss Hot Stuff) - I think your main problem is that you can sing, act, dance AND play instruments. The general public just don't like a show off. So perhaps consider being slightly less talented? Maybe I could help you out by... Oh, I don't know... Slamming your fingers in your dressing room door, perhaps?
Valentina Dolci (choreographer/ensemble) - now dear, as much as it pains me to point this out, some people are just naturally bendy, and some are not. No matter how much you kick and flail and spin and pow, I'm just more flexible than you, I'm afraid to say. The fact that I choose to keep that flexibility under wraps is my own affair, and perhaps you could learn a thing or two about being ladylike from me? Reign it in, dear... Always leave them wanting more.
Gabriella Garcia (ensemble) - it's a beautiful performance, dear, and you are lovely to watch. However, please remember that you are only ensemble - I hope you have plans to dull down your looks with stage makeup (perhaps a couple of prosthetic warts?), as there will be hell to pay if you upstage me.
Wade Lewin (ensemble) - now, dearheart, I think I've made it very clear throughout rehearsals that this Lady is not interested, and finally the message seems to have got through? But I'd hate to think that all your hard work in resisting my feminine wiles might be derailed at Press Night once you have a couple of drinks inside you, so please monitor that. And also, please please please remember to wear your dance belt; you almost had somebody's eye out in rehearsals last week!
Jacob Richmond-Caines (ensemble) - so young, so innocent, so naive. Now dear, judging by your age, this is probably your first professional engagement, so just remember to smile, face the front, and above all... Do not wave at your mum when she's in the audience. And try not to forget your lines, especially in the scene with me. You must be very excited, doing the acting with the star of the show, but don't let that excitement put you off. You don't want to look a fool, do you?
Greg Clarke (band) - yes, dear... Read what I have just written. Greg Clarke. BAND! We'll have none of your shenanigans on stage, thank you very much. You just stay in your little corner playing your strange sideways 'cello, and everything will be hunky dory!
Al Twist (band) - an utter delight. Your bass playing is as supportive as a remarkably well-fitted Playtex brazier, dear, and for that I thank you. Don't let the naughty boys in the band influence you into any silliness. I would hate to have to reprimand you, but be warned, if I need to, I will!
Adam Langstaff (band) - well, you man of very few words... Looking all sultry sitting at your drum kit and being cool as a cucumber... Let's see how well you do under pressure. I'm interested to see if the calm veneer will crack. Oh... One more thing; after "1, 2, 3, 4..." comes 5. You'll get nowhere in life if you can only count to four! Even the dancers know the "5, 6, 7, 8!" bit.
There we go. A few valuable nuggets of wisdom from Lady Felicia. No need to thank me - your performance improvements are all the thanks I need.
In all honesty, Dear Diary, I can now envisage not talking to you again until we have opened the show, but rest assured that if I get a spare moment, I shall pop you a quickie to let you know how things are going.
Felicia. x
Well... That's it. Four weeks of high kicks, high heels and high notes (mine are unsurprisingly the most resounding), and we've finished staging!
And so now we hand over to yet more people I haven't met yet, the production crew, as we start the technical and dress rehearsals ready for our first preview on Friday night. I don't mind admitting, I'm as giddy as a school girl with excitement!
On a personal level, my performance, I am sure, will be a resounding success; I've even managed to memorise a few of the lines that are in the script, so feeling very chuffed with myself. However, I found this weekend to be one of reflection, and whilst the rest of the cast are awfully good, there are still a few pointers I'd like to give, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to jot down a few notes for them all...
Matt Quinn (Joe Soap) - a delightful interpretation of a young man dealing with inner turmoil, but why, oh why does that result in you sounding like Kermit the Frog when you sing? If I were you, I'd choose a few lower, more manly notes, just to reassure us that you're not a post-operative transsexual? Just a suggestion.
Sarah Mahoney (Julie) - such a lovely, innocent, honest performance, with the full range of necessary facial expressions and even a couple of pauses, showing us all that you are a consummate actress. But please pace yourself; I would hate for you to pop one of those belted high notes out and accidentally give yourself piles! As superb as I am, I'm not sure I could play Lucy Fur AND Julie.
Cameron Jones (Narrator) - lovely. Please try to focus. I know I'm ravishing, but you'll do yourself no favours if your head's not in the game! A little less lustful advances, a little more acting? And whilst I love your little witty ad libs, please remember who is the lead? I'd hate for you to get ideas above your station - I've been through that with Matt Quinn... He still has the scars!
Hollie Cassar (Miss Hot Stuff) - I think your main problem is that you can sing, act, dance AND play instruments. The general public just don't like a show off. So perhaps consider being slightly less talented? Maybe I could help you out by... Oh, I don't know... Slamming your fingers in your dressing room door, perhaps?
Valentina Dolci (choreographer/ensemble) - now dear, as much as it pains me to point this out, some people are just naturally bendy, and some are not. No matter how much you kick and flail and spin and pow, I'm just more flexible than you, I'm afraid to say. The fact that I choose to keep that flexibility under wraps is my own affair, and perhaps you could learn a thing or two about being ladylike from me? Reign it in, dear... Always leave them wanting more.
Gabriella Garcia (ensemble) - it's a beautiful performance, dear, and you are lovely to watch. However, please remember that you are only ensemble - I hope you have plans to dull down your looks with stage makeup (perhaps a couple of prosthetic warts?), as there will be hell to pay if you upstage me.
Wade Lewin (ensemble) - now, dearheart, I think I've made it very clear throughout rehearsals that this Lady is not interested, and finally the message seems to have got through? But I'd hate to think that all your hard work in resisting my feminine wiles might be derailed at Press Night once you have a couple of drinks inside you, so please monitor that. And also, please please please remember to wear your dance belt; you almost had somebody's eye out in rehearsals last week!
Jacob Richmond-Caines (ensemble) - so young, so innocent, so naive. Now dear, judging by your age, this is probably your first professional engagement, so just remember to smile, face the front, and above all... Do not wave at your mum when she's in the audience. And try not to forget your lines, especially in the scene with me. You must be very excited, doing the acting with the star of the show, but don't let that excitement put you off. You don't want to look a fool, do you?
Greg Clarke (band) - yes, dear... Read what I have just written. Greg Clarke. BAND! We'll have none of your shenanigans on stage, thank you very much. You just stay in your little corner playing your strange sideways 'cello, and everything will be hunky dory!
Al Twist (band) - an utter delight. Your bass playing is as supportive as a remarkably well-fitted Playtex brazier, dear, and for that I thank you. Don't let the naughty boys in the band influence you into any silliness. I would hate to have to reprimand you, but be warned, if I need to, I will!
Adam Langstaff (band) - well, you man of very few words... Looking all sultry sitting at your drum kit and being cool as a cucumber... Let's see how well you do under pressure. I'm interested to see if the calm veneer will crack. Oh... One more thing; after "1, 2, 3, 4..." comes 5. You'll get nowhere in life if you can only count to four! Even the dancers know the "5, 6, 7, 8!" bit.
There we go. A few valuable nuggets of wisdom from Lady Felicia. No need to thank me - your performance improvements are all the thanks I need.
In all honesty, Dear Diary, I can now envisage not talking to you again until we have opened the show, but rest assured that if I get a spare moment, I shall pop you a quickie to let you know how things are going.
Felicia. x